Jenn Hecker Books

After caring for and watching my grandma go to her Heavenly home, I have been very introspective and in some areas critical of my behaviors. I realize that I have what I am calling "caregiver survivor's guilt," but not in the way most people would see it. It is like survivor's guilt in that it affects those of us left behind, but it is specific to those of us who were caregivers whose worlds revolved around the person under our care. I guess the best way to explain it is that it's a feeling of relief in some ways and then one of guilt over feeling relieved. For example, I was on vacation, and we were hiking in the mountains. We got to this beautiful spot and I thought "If Grandma was still here I would not feel this peaceful right now." Why? Because I would have been worrying that something could go wrong at home and I had no cell coverage. I would have been anxious about being 12 hours away from her to begin with. After those thoughts I immedia...

I get a kick out of the lists of why we love having boys or girls, so I thought I would share my story. Before I had my boys, I was convinced that I wanted girls! I grew up surrounded by boy cousins and a little brother, so boys were not a favorite of mine. I dreamed of tea parties, ballet classes, proms, and weddings. I’d had my share of wrestling, superheroes and mud—lots of mud. I know, my descriptions of “girl things” and “boy things” were stereotypical, but I was young and not quite as evolved as I am now! I think too, I just felt like I could relate to a daughter since I am one, even though I was never really a “girly girl” anyway. As Woody Allen said, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”   While trying to get pregnant over 4 years, I began to think that I did not care what sex my baby was. I just wanted one. I also wanted at least one boy to carry on my husband's name, since he is the last man in his generation. I still wanted a girl, but I was ...